Hi, I'm Tom.  I'm a 10 year old boy.  I'm in the 5th grade.  I like to go swimming and play
   piano and guitar. 

   

   

   I have 4 brothers and 2 sisters.  Their names are Bobby, Nolan, Alex, Elijah, Amanda,
   Alexandria.  And one sister who is "on the way".  I have 2 moms, 2 dads, 3 grandpas, 2
   grandmas and too many cousins to count.  I also have 5 uncles and 4 aunts. 

   

   

   I live with Bobby, Nolan, Amanda, and one of my Moms named Spring and my Dad named Darwin.  I
   like my family because they're always preparing me for what's coming next in my life.  What I
   don't like about my family is that we're mostly spread out cause we're going through some
   tough times. 

   

   

   My older brother, Bobby, molested me when I was 6 years old.  I didn't know that I was being
   abused. 

   I told Mom that Bobby was doing something.  I was going up to Grandpa Gene's house with Bobby
   and we were watching movies that had sex in them but I didn't know it was wrong.  So he didn't
   tell her that part. 

   

   

   When it happened to me, I thought it was okay because he was older than me and I thought he
   was doing something that was okay.  I thought the only bad part was that I was getting out of
   my own bed.  I didn't want to get in trouble so I tried to stay in bed.  But Bobby threatened
   me that if I told, he would break my neck or something. 

   

   

   He was in the 5th grade and I thought he knew what was right and wrong.  It started when I was
   at the end of kindergarten and kept happening until the beginning of first grade and I didn't
   know. 

   

   

   We came to counseling after that and that's probably where I learned that what Bobby did
   wasn't okay.  The molesting of me stopped then.

   My cousin, Dani, was also abused by my older brother.  It made me feel not very good when I
   found out that I had been abused.  It was hard because I thought my brother was going to get
   into trouble.  That's a hard part because he didn't get in trouble when he did it to me but he
   got in lots of trouble when he abused Dani. 

   

   

   

   I thought maybe the reason Bobby got in trouble when he molested Dani was because she was a
   girl and you can't really have sex with a boy like with a girl. 

   

   

   

   Julie told me that it was partly because the people at DHS who protect kids didn't know how
   much Bobby molested me and they thought it had stopped a year before.  Also, when Bobby did it
   to Dani, it was his second "victim" and that made people think he had a bigger problem than
   they knew before. 

   

   After we found out Dani got molested too, that's when I went to counseling for myself.  I went
   to a group for kids.  We worked on stuff like feelings and thoughts.  Meeting other kids who
   got molested was good because it they shared their thoughts with me and I got some new ideas
   of things to think and say.

   

   

   

   

   At first I thought that the abuse hurt my genitals and made them look different than other
   people's.  Now I know that isn't true.  I also thought, because the touching felt good, that
   meant I was bad.  Now I know that it's how it is when you have a healthy body.  It feels good
   to be touched in about any way as long as it's not a painful way. 

   

   

   Now Bobby is going to get therapy because of the things he did to me and my cousin, Dani.  He
   has to live someplace else, away from kids that are younger than him until we know that he's
   safe to be around little kids. 

   

   

   

   I still wonder about whether Bobby really loves me because why would he have done it if he
   really loved me?  Mostly people do it for themselves because they have a sexual urge and they
   do it to take care of it.  But it isn't really the right way to deal with sexual urges. 

   

   

   

   Julie asked me what things I think Bobby needs to work on in counseling.  I think he needs to
   learn understand his sexual urges and to control them.  He needs to learn about and have okay
   sexual feelings.  Also, Bobby needs to change so that he can be trusted by everybody and
   doesn't trick people.  We need to be sure he can act okay anywhere. 

   

   Here's my advice to other kids who may have gotten molested:

   

   Don't get molested anymore!

   

   Ask somebody you trust what sex is just in case somebody tries to molest you.  Then you'll
   know what it is instead of finding it out by getting molested.

   

   If someone tries to molest you, try to stand your ground and not be molested.

   

   If they threaten you, call for help.  Get out of the same room as they are. 

   

   If they force you to do sexual things, tell someone right after the first time.  Don't go back
   for more.