Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim

   written grammar and newspaper headlines

   

                   In order to save space, English language newspaper headlines usually omit all
   forms of the verb to be, definite and indefinite articles, complex tenses, and auxiliary
   verbs. For example, if a newspaper editor writes a headline for an article that talks about a
   squad of paramedics who gave medical help to the victim of a dog bite, he or she will remove
   all the extra words and the end result will be something like "Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim"
   (which is a real headline that appeared in a real newspaper). Often those extra words can be
   removed while leaving the meaning perfectly clear.

                   Occasionally, however, the result can be read two different ways. This is
   because many English words can function as verbs or nouns or adjectives, and only the
   auxiliary verbs and articles make clear how they are being used.  For instance, in this case,
   we have a headline "Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim". We can read this in two ways. In the first,
   dog bite victim is a noun phrase, with dog and bite functioning as qualifiers of victim, and
   the noun phase is the object of helps. The full sentence would then mean: "A squad has helped
   the victim of a dog bite." In the second reading, dog bite victim is an embedded sentence, in
   which bite is the verb, and this embedded sentence is the complement of the verb helps. In the
   case, the full sentence would mean: "A squad has helped a dog to bite someone." As anyone can
   see, this can sometimes lead to funny results.

                   The rest of the headlines in this list have double meanings. Some are
   ambiguous because one word or phrase can function as two different parts of speech. Others may
   be ambiguous because of poor placement of participial phrases or other reasons. Try to figure
   out what the two meanings are (write out the full sentences in each case). Then try to rewrite
   the headline so that it is not ambiguous.

   

   1.   NJ Judge to Rule on Nude Beach     (NJ=New Jersey, a US state near New York)

   2.   Victims Say Tree Trimmer Takes Money, Then Leaves

   3.   Stolen Painting Found by Tree

   4.   Red Tape Holds up New Bridge

   5.   Prostitutes Appeal to Pope

   6.   Complaints about NBA Referees Growing Ugly     (NBA=National Basketball Association)

   7.   Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years

   8.   British Left Waffles on Falklands

   9.   Miners Refuse to Work after Death

   10. Utah Girl Does Well in Dog Shows

   11. Include Your Children When Baking Cookies

   12. Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years at Checkout Counter

   

   Now consider these statements. They are also ambiguous, but not because of missing
   information. Instead, they are full and grammatically complete sentences that can be
   interpreted two different ways because of a poorly placed participial phrase (like 7 and 12
   above). Try to figure out what the two meanings are. Then rewrite the sentence so that it is
   no longer ambiguous. Remember that a well-placed comma can sometimes fix the problem.

   

   Example: I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.
   (Groucho Marx)

   

   1. Two cars were reported stolen by the Groveton police yesterday.

   2. Yoko Ono will talk about her husband John Lennon who was killed in an interview with
   Barbara Walters.

   3. We will not sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container.

   4. For sale: Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient
   beating.

   5. The license fee for altered dogs with a certificate will be $3 and for pets owned by senior
   citizens who have not been altered the fee will be $1.50.