John McGahern Híg/z Ground
I let the boat drift on the river beneath the deep arch of the bridge, the keel scraping the gravel as it crossed the shallows out from Walsh's, past the boat-house at the mouth, and out into the lake. It was only the slow growing distance from the ring of reeds round the shore that told that the boat moved at all on the lake. More slowly still, the light was going from the August evening.
I was feeling leaden with tiredness but did not want to sleep. I had gone on the river in order to be alone, the way one goes to a darkroom.
The Brothers' Building Fund Dance had been held the night before. A big marquee had been set up in the grounds behind the monastery. Most of the people I had gone to school with'were there, awkward in their new estate, and nearly all the brothers who had taught us: Joseph, Francis, Benedictus, Martin. They stood in a black line beneath the low canvas near the entrance and waited for their old pupils to go up to them. When they were alone, watching us dance, rapid comment passed up and down the »ine, and often Joseph and Martin doubled up, unable or unwilling to conceal laughter; but by midnight they had gone, and a night of a sort was ours, the fine dust from the floor rising into the perfume arid sweat and hair oil as we danced in the thresh of the music.
There was a full moon as 1 drove Una to her home in Arigna in the borrowed Prefect, the whole wide water of Allen taking in the wonderful mysteriousness of the light. We sat in the car and kissed and talked, and morning was
67
John McGahem
there before we noticed. After the harshness of growing up, a world of love and beauty, of vague gardens and dresses and laughter, one woman in ä gleaming distance seemed to be almost within reach. We would enter -this world. We would make it true.
I was home just before the house had risen, and lay on the bed and waited till everybody was up, and then changed into old clothes. I was helping my father put a new roof on the house. Because of the tiredness, I had to concentrate completely on the work, even then nearly losing my footing several times between the stripped beams, sometimes annoying my father by handing him the wrong lath or tool; but when evening came the last thing I wanted was sleep. I wanted to be alone, to go over the night, to try to see clearly, which only meant turning again and again, in the wheel of dreaming.
'Hi there! Hi! Do you hear me, young Moran!' The voice came with startling clarity over the water, was taken up by the fields across the lake, echoed back. 'Hi there! Hi! Do you hear me, young Moran!'
1 looked all around. The voice came from the road. I couldn't make out the figure at first, leaning in a broken gap of the wall above the lake, but when he called again I knew it was Eddie Reegan. Senator Reegan.
'Hi there, young Moran. Since the mountain can't come to Mahomet, Mahomet will have to come to the mountain. Row over here for a minute. I want to have a word with you.'
I rowed very slowly, watching each oar splash slip away from the boat in the mirror of water. I disliked him, having unconsciously, perhaps, picked up my people's dislike. He had come poor to the place, buying Lynch's small farm cheap, and soon afterwards the farmhouse burned down. At once, a bigger house was built with the insurance money, closer to the road, though that in its turn was due to burn down too, to be replaced by the present mansion, the avenue of Lawson cypresses now seven years old. Soon he was buying up other small farms, but no one had ever seen him
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High Ground
work  with  shovel  or with spade.  He  always  appeared immaculately dressed. It was as if he understood instinctively that it was only the shortest of short steps from appearance to becoming. 'A man who works never makes any money. He has no time to see how the money is made,' he was fond of boasting. He set up as an auctioneer. He entered politics. He married Kathleen Relihan, the eldest of old Paddy Relihan's daughters, the richest man in the area, Chairman of the County Council. "Do you see those two girls? I'm going to marry one of those girls,' he was reported to have remarked to a friend. 'Which one?' 'It doesn't matter. They're both Paddy Relihan's daughters'; and when Paddy retired it was Reegan rather than any of his own sons who succeeded Paddy in the. Council. Now that he had surpassed Paddy Relihan and become a Senator, and it seemed only a matter of time before he was elected to the Dail, he no longer joked about 'the aul effort of a fire', and was gravely concerned about the reluctance of insurance companies to grant cover for fire to dwelling houses in our part of the country. He had bulldozed the hazel and briar from the hills above the lake, and as I turned to see how close the boat had come to the wall 1 could see behind him the white and black of his Friesians grazing between the electric fences on the far side
of the reseeaed hill.
I let the boat tum so that I could place my hand on the stone, but the evening was so calm that it would have rested beneath the high wall without any hand The Senator had seated himself on-the wall as I was rowing in, and his shoes hung six or eight feet above the boat.
'It's not the first time I've had to congratulate you, though I'm too high up here to shake your hand. And what I'm certain of is that it won't be the last time either,' he began. Thanks. You're very kind,' I answered. "Have you any idea where you'll go from here?' "No. I've applied for the grant. It depends on whether I get the grant or not.'
"What'll you do if you get it?'
69
John McGahem
'Go on, I suppose. Go a bit farther...'
'Whafll you do then?'
'I don't know. Sooner or later, I suppose, 111 have to look for a job.'
That's the point I've been coming to. You are qualified to teach, aren't you?'
'Yes. But I've only taught for a few months. Before I got that chance to go to the University.'
'You didn't like teaching?' he asked sharply.
'No.' I was careful. 'I didn't dislike it. It was a job/
'I like that straightness. And what I'm looking to know is - if you were offered a very good job would you be likely to take it?':
'What job?'
1 won't beat around the bush either. I'm talking of the Principalship of the school here. Iťs a very She position for a young man. You'd be among your own people. You'd be doing good where you belong. I hear you're interested in a very attractive young lady not a hundred miles from here. If you decided to marry and settle down I'm in a position to put other advantages your way.'
Master Leddy was the Principal of the school. He had been the Principal as long as 1 could remember. He had taught me, many before me. I had called to see him just three days before. The very idea of replacing .him was shocking. And anyhow, I knew the politicians had noming to do with the appointment of teachers. It was the priest who ran the school. What he was saying didn't even begin to make sense, but I had been warned about his cunning and was wary. 'You must be codding. Isn't Master Leddy the Principal?'
'He is now but he won't be for long more - not if I have anything to do with it.'
'How?' I asked very quietly in the face of the outburst.
That need be no concern of yours. ;I£ you can give me your word that you'll take the job, I can promise you that the job is as good as yours.'
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High Ground
i can't do that I can't follow anything right. Isn't it Canon Gallagher.who appoints the teachers?'
"Listen. There are many people who feel the same way as I do. If I go to the Canon in the name of all those people and say that you're willing to take the job, the job is yours. Even if he didn't want to, he'd have no choice but to appoint
you...'
'Why should you want to do that for me? Say, even if it
is possible.' I was more curious now than alarmed.
'It's more than possible. It's bloody necessary. I'll be plain. I have three sons. They go to that school. They have nothing to fall back on but whatever education they get. And with the education they're getting at that school up there, all they'll ever be fit for is to dig ditches. Now, I've never dug ditches, but even at my age I'd take off my coat and go down into a ditch rather than ever have to watch any of my sons dig. The whole school is a shambles. Someone described it lately as one big bear garden.'
'What makes you think I'd be any better?'
"You're young. You're qualified. You're ambitious. It's a
very good job for someone your age. I'd give you all the
. backing you'd want. You'd have every reason to make a go
of it. With you there, I'd feel my children would be still in
with a chance. In another year or two even that'll be gone.'
'I don't see why you want my word at this stage,' I said evasively, hoping to slip away from it alL I saw his face return to its natural look of shrewdness in what was left of
the late summer light
'If I go to the Canon now, it'll be just another complaint in a long line of complaints. If I can go to him and say that things can't be allowed to go on as they have been going and we have a young man here, from a good family, a local more than qualified, who's willing to take the job, who has every? one's backing, iťs a different proposition entirely. And I can guarantee you here mis very evening that you'llľ be the Principal of that school when it opens in September.' * -
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John McGahem
For the first time it was all coming clear to me.
'Whaťll happen to the Master? What'll he do?'
'What I'm more concerned about is whaťll my children >
do if he stays/ he burst out again. *But you don't have-tó '''■
concern yourself about it. It'll be all taken care of.'           - -
I had called on the Master three evenings before, walking beyond the village to the big ramshackle farmhouse. He was just rising, having taken all his meals of the day in bed, and was shaving and dressing upstairs, one time calling down, for a toweli and again for a laundered shirt.     ;    .
'Is that young Moran?' He must have, recognized my voice or name. 'Make him a good cup of tea. And hell be able to be back up the road with myself.'                   . ■,
A yery old mongrel greyhound was routed from the leather armchair one side of the fire, and I was given tea and slices of buttered bread. The Master's wife, who was small and frail with pale skin and lovely brown eyes, kept up a cheerful chatter that required no response as she busied herself about the enormous cluttered kitchen which seemed not to possess a square foot of room. There were buckets everywhere, all sorts of chairs, basins, bags of meal and flour, cats, the greyhound, pots and pans. The pattern had faded from the bulging wallpaper, a dark ochre, and some of the several
\.uciiuaia   uiai  nutit  aiuuiiu   urc   n alio  nau   uiucu   liliu   UK;
paper. It would have been difficult to find space for an extra cup or saucer on the long wooden table. There were plainly no set meal times. Two of the Master's sons, now grown men, came singly in from the fields while I waited; Plates of food were served at once, bacon and liver, a mug of tea. They took from the plate of bread already on the table, the butter, the sugar, the salt, the bottle of sauce. They spent no more than a few minutes over the meal, blessing themselves at its end, leaving .as suddenly as they'd entered, smiling and nodding in a friendly way in. my direction, but making little attempt at conversation, though Gerald did ask, before he reached for his
7*
High Ground
hat - a hat I recognized as having belonged to the Master back in my school days, a brown hat with a blue teal's feather and a small hole burned in its side - "Well, how are things getting along in the big smoke?' The whole effect was of a garden and orchard gone completely wild, but happily.
*You couldn't have come at a better time. We'll be able to be up the road together,' the Master said as he came heavily down the stairs in his stockinged feet. He'd shaved, was dressed in a grey suit, with a collar and tie, the old gold watch-chain -crossing a heavy paunch. He had aged since last I'd seen him, the face red and puffy, the white hair thinned, and there was a bruise on the cheekbone where he must have fallen. The old hound went towards him, licking
at his hand.       ..
'Good boy! Good boy,' he said as he came towards me, patting the hound.. As soon as we shook hands he slipped his feet into shoes which had stood beside the leather chair. He did not bend or sit, and as he talked I saw the small birdlike woman at his feet, tying up the laces.
'It's a very nice thing to see old pupils coming back. Though not many of them bring me laurels like yourself, íťs still a very nice thing. Loyalty is a fine quality. A very fine
quality.'
"Now/ his wife stood by his side, 'all you need is your
hat and stick,' and she went and brought them.
Thank you. Thank you indeed. 1 don't know what I'd do but for my dear wife/ he said.
'Do you hear him now! He was never stuck for the charm. Off with you now before you get the back of me hand/ she bantered, and called as we went slowly towards the gate. 'Do you want me to send any of the boys up for you?'
'No. Not unless they have some business of their own to attend to.in the village. No/ he said gravely, turning very slowly. -.-       ■                                                          ■■:-.'■.
He spoke the whole way on the slow walk to the village. All the-time he seemed: to lag behind my snail's pace, sometimes standing because he was out of breath, tapping at
73
John McGahern
the road with the cane. Even when the walk slowed to ď virtual standstill it seemed to be still far too energetic.      . ; r\
'I always refer to you as my star pupil. When the whole enterprise seems to be going more or less askew, I always point to young Moraru that's one good job I turned out' Let the fools J>rate.'                ■:•■"■■            ■ ■^,,.■0       r     t
I walked, stooping byhis side, restraining myself within the slow, walk, embarrassed, ashamed, confused. I had once looked to him in pure infatuation, would rush to his defence. against every careless whisper. He had shone like a clear star,? I was in love with what I hardly dared to hope I might' become. Jt seemed horrible now mat I might come to this.    ■ • >-'■';,
'None of my own family were.clever/he confided. 'It !. was a great disappointment. And yet they may well be ; happier for it. Life is an extraordinary thing. A very great * mystery. Wonderful;.. shocking... thing.'                               '£
Each halting speech seemed to lead in some haphazard   -.-: way into the next
'Now that you're coming out into the world you'll have to be constantly on your guard. You'll have to be on your guard first of all against intellectual pride. That's the worst sin, the sin of Satan. And always be kind to women. Help them. Women are weak. They'll be attracted to you.' I had to smile ruefully, never having noticed much of a stampede in my direction. There was this girl I went home from a dance wíih cn\c&' he continued. 'And as we were í^ettins closer to her house I noticed her growing steadily more amorous until I had to saý, "None of that now, girl. It is not the proper tíme!" Later, wbfn we were both old and married, she thanked me. She said I| was a true gentleman.'                            i
The short walk seemed to take a deep age, but once outside Ryan's door he took quick leave of me..'I won't invite you inside. Though I set poor enough of an example, I want to bring no one with me. I say to all my pupils: Beware of the high stool. The downward slope from the high stool is longer and steeper than from the top of Everest.: God bless and guard you, young Moran. Come and see me again before you
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High Ground
- head back to the city.' And with that he left me. I stood facing v the opaque glass of the door, the small print of the notice > above it: Seven Days Licence to Sell Wine, Beer, Spirits. ■
; 'Do you mean the MasterTl be out on the road, then?'I asked Senator Reegan from the boat, amazed still by the turn of the .iäConvefsation.i;-«rl .^u-"' ■. -V-                           ■ •■i.-':-r*.&:r.\-
;..r "You need-Jiave.no fear of that There's a whole union [behind him. In our enlightened day alcoholism is looked upon C ás just another illness- And they wonder how the country can ,' be so badly off,' he laughed sarcastically. *No. Hell probably be offered a rest cure on full pay. I doubt if he'd take it. If he did, it'd delay official recognition of your appointment by a few months, thaťd be all, a matter of paperwork. The very worst that could happen to him is that he'd be forced to take early retirement, which would probably add years to his life. He'd just have that bit less of a pension with which to drink himself into an early grave. You need have no worries on that score. You'd be doing everybody a favour, including him most of all, if you'd take the job. Well, what do you say? I could still go to the Canon tonight. It's late but not too late. He'd be just addressing himself to his hot toddy. It could be as good a time as any to attack him. Well, what do you say?' 'I'll have to think about it.' 'Iťs a very fine position for a young man like yourself
starting out ialife.'.   ■ .
1 know it is. I'm very grateful.'                      1
' To helLwith'gratitude.; Gratitude doesn't matter a-damn. It's one of those:moves that benefits everybody involved. You'll come to learn that there aren't many moves like that in life.' .-:                                                                                           ■ -■■■•
'I'll have to think about it' I was anxious to turn away from any direct confrontation.
;i can't wait for very long. Something has to be done and
donesoon.' ' ť-.
'I know that but I still have to think about it'
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John McGahern
'Listen. Leťs not close on anything this everiingtíN^B urally you have to consider everything. Why don't you "dnM over to my place tomorrow night? You'll have a dtanceffl meet my lads. And herself has been saying for a longifing] now that she'd like to meet you. Come about nine. EverM thing will be out of the way by then.'                           '"^'ü
I rowed very slowly away, just stroking the boat foŕwárS in the deadly silence of the half-darkness. I watched Reegaffl cross the road, climb the hill, pausing now-arid then-among the white blobs of his Friesians. His figure stood for a-whiSl at the |top of the hill where he seemed to be booking; baCM towardsmeboatandwaterbeforehedisappeared.         "!'"g|
When I got back to the house everyone was.asleep except! a younger sister, who had waited up for me. She was reading^ by the fire, the small black cat on her knee.                         ■' *' J
They've all gone to bed,' she explained. 'Since you were; on the river, they let me wait up for you. Only there's no tea.: I've just found out that there's not a drop of spring water in.. the house-'
'Ill go to the well, then. Otherwise someone will have to go first thing in the morning. You don't have to wait up for me.' I was too agitated to go straight to bed and glad of the distraction of any activity.
'Ill wait,' she said. 'Ill wait and make the tea when you get back.'
Til; be less than ten minutes.' The late hour held for her
. I walked quickly, swinging the bucket. The whole village seemedi dead under a benign moon, but asLI passed along the ■ church wall I heard voices. They came from Ryan's Bar. It was shut, the blinds down, but then I noticed cracks of yellow light along the edges of the big blue blind. They were drinking after hours. I paused to see if I could recognize any of the voices, but before I had tíme Charlie Ryaru hissed, 'Will you keep your voices down, will yous? At the rate you're going you'll soon have the Sergeant out of his bed,' and the voices quietened to a whisper. Afraid of being noticed in the
76
. High Ground
*i
tehceVI passed on to get the bucket of spring water from well, but the voices were in full song again by the time I lmed. I, let the bucket softly down in the dust and stood ■the shadow of the church wall to listen. I recognized the "ter's slurred voice at once, and then voices of some of the Bten who-worked in the sawmill in the wood. V- That sixth class in 1935 was a great class. Master.' It was Johnny Connor's voice, the saw mechanic. 1 was never much good at the Irish, but I was a terror at the maths, especially
ťheEuclid.'
#(V I.shivered as I listened under the church wall. Nineteen thirty-three was the year before I was bom.                    -
•o; Tou were a topper, Johnny. You were a topper at the maths,' I heard the Master's voice. It was full of authority. He seemed to have no sense at all that he was in danger.
'Tommy Morahan that went to England was the best of us all in that class,' another voice took up, a voice I wasn't
able to recognize.
'He wasn't half as good as he imagined he was. He suffered from a swelled head,' Johnny Connor said.
"Ye were toppers, now. Ye were all toppers,' the Master
said diplomatically.
'One thing sure is that you made a great job of us, Master. You were a powerful teacher. I remember to this day everything you told us about the Orinoca River.'
It was no trouble. Ye had the brains. There are people in this part of ill* country digging ditches who could have been engineers or doctors or judges or philosophers had they been given the opportunity. But the opportunity was lacking- That was all that was lacking.' The Master spoke again with great
authority.
The same again all round, Charlie,' a voice ordered.
'And a large brandy for the Master.'
'Still, we kept sailing, didn't we, Master? That's the main thing. We kept sailing.'
"Ye had the brains. The people in this part of the country
had powerful brains.'
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John McGahem
If you had to pick one thing. Master, what would you put those brains down to?'
'Will you hush now! The Sergeant wouldn't even have to be passing outside to hear- yous. Soon he'll be hearing yous downinthebarracks/Charliehissed.'            '   >    '
There; was a lull again in the voices in which a coin seemed toj roll across the floor.
"Well,! the people with the brains mostly stayed here. They had to. They had no choice. They didn't go to the cities. So the brains was passed on to the next generation. Then there's the trees. There's the water. And we're very high up here. We're practically at the source of the Shannon. If I had to pick on one thing more than another, I'd put it down to that. I'd attribute it to the high ground.'
78
Bridget O'Connor
Postcards
And my mother does not sleep at all. And I do not know where my dad is.
We get postcards but they are from different places and, sometimes, different lands. It is all lands, there are no people or farms or houses. It is scrubland and coloured hills. There is a man somewhere, or a woman, and that is a job, to paint bght and cheer up the country. And some of them are funny. There are blue trees and green skies and some of the clouds have faces. So I think it is the boredom. They must get carried away. And my mother has a boxload. To her they are like love letters. I do not understand this. There is no love there that I can see. I have three of my own. They all say 'Hope you're keeping well.' They arrive on my birthday. Not a day early or a day late. On the right day. I suppose that might be love but I think it is good timing.
And 1 am the last one now. My sisters have gone and my brother. They have gone Over There, across the water. My mother says they could not wait to Get Out, to Get Away. She says not.to mind but I do. The house is very quiet And in the post come cheques and money orders. My mother will not cash them. And she tears them up into very tiny pieces. She shakes when she does this and hides the pieces in a drawer. T would not give them the pleasure,' she says, 1 would not.' I would. 1 do not see where the pleasure lies but I cannot say that I cannot say very much to her.
And they went away on boats and planes so I am the
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