A SOCIOPATH’S JOB INTERVIEW


TL   Well, Barbara, I have to say… a hugely impressive CV.

AP  Thank you.

LV   We’ve seen a lot of candidates … amongst the most impressive.

AP   Thanks. Project management … a lot of experience with team leadership.

LV   There was just one thing on it … crimes against humanity.

AP   I decided to leave that off the CV … to be honest with people.

TL   Honest?

AP   Well, in the sense that … two years.

M    So, what are the details?

AP   Of the – what – CAH?

M    Yes.

AP   Well, I was convicted about two years ago … that’s about it, really.

M   Was it a genocide or something?

AP   It was a genocide, yes.

M   So – how many people would have died?

AP   The U.N. reckons about 15 thousand… more like 20, maybe 30.

M    And what was your role in this?

AP   Largely organisational ... terms, I was very successful.

LV   Did you try to stop the genocide at any stage?

AP  I did try to stop it… easier to go along with it.

LT   Yes, I’m just – I was looking up… slavery and cannibalism.

AP   Guilty as charged!

LV   And the sentence for CAH was in your absence?

AP  Yes. I wasn’t in court and again… it was 25 years.

M   And you’re on the run now, are you?

AP   Yeah.

M   OK. I think we’re all agreed… hugely impressive CV.

LV   Yes, it’s definitely the best we’ve seen.

LT   Yes, I think… Welcome to the bank!

AP   Thank you.